>> guillermo: and i want you to audition for my movie. thank you, lisa. and when we come back, green day duchovny is with us. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by las vegas, the greatest arena on earth. every year we try to exercise more. everything all right? >> jimmy: did you go on youtube and figure out how to use it? >> absolutely not, no. oh man. no, i can't. >> guillermo: yes, a toast to women! [via press release from ABC] Ratings Report for Week of May 23, 2022 National Live+Same Day Program Ratings ABC's 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!' Is Week's No. >> jimmy: so because of that, you're suing your washing machine? >> the meaning of the word "woman" is so unclear and controversial that you can't give me a definition? Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014). they're not the same pants, by the way. and you. as soon as we do, we will make them available to the public." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whose idea was it to do this? i mean --. thank you, d ryou, d. denzel washington said to me at your highest moment, be careful. Late Night Jimmy Kimmel Blasts "Three-Ring Circle Jerk" at Ketanji Brown Jackson's Confirmation Hearing The late-night host took Republican senators Josh Hawley, Lindsey Graham, and Ted Cruz to. >> jimmy: it was like people had been pent up, waiting to see you again. to protect him. now you can see him as part of an all-star cast in the first and hopefully last-ever movie about making a movie during covid that was made during covid. Watch full episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! we go outside like humans. he loves you. but for the 400,000th time, i'm not [ bleep ]ing her. Be sure to follow us on our Jimmy Kimmel LIVE Twitter Page for the latest, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE TV show news and updates by Clicking Here. and a spokesperson for the lapd put out a statement immediately following the altercation, that said, "we don't have any details about the incident. >> guillermo: action! >> jimmy: hi, everybody. Following are the episodes scheduled to air the week of March 21-25 (subject to change): Monday, March 21 >> it's like at home. The Jury Gets It (Mostly) Right In A Terrific Lineup Of Competition Films, But What Impact Will 2023 Cannes Film Festival Have On Oscar? no one who made the movie is here. order ahead on the kfc app. >> jimmy: and there you are, watching yourself. >> guillermo: how are you? >> yeah. he goes, yeah, they're running. tonight from "bridgerton" on netflix, simone ashley is with us. and those won't be used. co! denzel, denzel! >> yes. >> jimmy: david duchovny, everybody. depend. ibrance with an aromatase inhibitor. welcome back. TV Archive will and chris, we're going to solve that like family at the gold party. after the slap, will cursed him out. >> jimmy: tonight from "winning time: the rise of the lakers dynasty" on hbo, michael chiklis is with us. [ cheers and applause ] snoeth >> hi. so i'd like to answer that question once and for all. you are in the mainstream of sentencing when it comes to child pornography cases. >> jimmy: two times a day? [ phone ringing ] >> wait a minute, that's my nephew calling, juno. going to the movies can be a lot for young homeowners turning into their parents. i go it's going really well, gary, going really well. , [vacuuming] come on, why can't you do this yourself? >> yeah. but that was before anybody who judd apatow was. but it's secret. this poor lady had to sit there and listen to this pontificating from a man who wipes back to front. -hand me your coats. you know who loves that [ bleep ]? Signup for Breaking News Alerts & Newsletters. so anything we say, it's nothing that the people themselves won't be able to laugh with. he said jada boycotting the oscars is like him boycotting rihanna's panties. >> jimmy: thanks to lisa kudrow and michael chiklis. crunchy outside, chewy inside. >> this is ridiculous. >> i do remember. not just unpredictable relapses. no. so i watched them train for like four months. yes, i was right. we ran out of time for him. they survived the nazi holocaust. >> yeah. where is the tattoo? that's a good hotel. you can see it sunday nights on hbo. on the Internet. >> jimmy: well, we're going to take a break. The Jimmy Kimmel Live! >> jimmy: it's entirely my pleasure. >> i think that's when -- >> jimmy: wow, to go overseas as a teenager like that to been an actor. who's legally allowed to behead people in england if he so chooses. the second i saw will get up out of his seat, i'd have been, halfway to wetzel's pretzels. [ applause ] >> guillermo: oh my god, look, i got to give you, this is a guillermo. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have a photograph of that. [ laughter ] we were both like, oh, no, we don't want to sing, we don't want to sing. "nightline" is next, but first, their album "fatal mistakes" is out now. Get your favorite TV Show and Movie stuff by Clicking Here. please welcome david duchovny. This will be Kimmels third time at bat on the Dolby Stage for Hollywoods biggest night of the year after previously hosting in 2017 (89th awards) and 2018 (90th awards). The 95th Academy Awards has a host and he is no stranger to the job. ET . [ applause ] it's great to see you. she calls me. . if you can plug 'em in, i'm takin' 'em to court! back off, uc! >> good to see you. you, getting on that flight? >> jimmy: do you like being here in the united states? and write, "i am a work in progress." [ laughter and applause ] let's zoom in there. care coalition, it's so good to see you all! ibrance plus letrozole significantly delayed disease progression versus letrozole. Jimmy Kimmel Live! The ABC people are going to hook you up again tonight, and weve got a preview for tonights new episode. >> what it felt like. >>exactly. before, we'd always be late, and on empty. to say hello to the person you lost your virginity to. and kept there for hours. when he was a senior in college, he got thrown out of college for fighting. he said, "uh -- we'll be in touch, we really will.". i would have been crying so hard. >> this is the worst script i've ever read. >> well, s.a.g. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter? >> jimmy: when you say terribly fancy, i mean, you are not exaggerated in the slightest bit. i put my phone down, put it on flight mode because it starts. >> jimmy: can we see it? enough, crohn's! >> i don't know what it is. Your email address will not be published. Jimmy Kimmel has been set by the Academy and ABC to return as host for the show which will be held on Sunday March 12. >> guillermo: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's crazy. i'm like, do this! "still to come, the grammy for record of the year, and, who will dua lipa physically assault?" did you know nestle makes hot pockets and dog chow? saying no to settling and yes to getting all of the above. i wanted to do that show so badly, and they got you on. and i was standing there, this is kind of cool. i go to this officer, what's going on? you would have been too, had you not scared garry. >> to listen to the anthem and learn more about johnnie walker's progress initiatives, visit johnniewalker.com/firststrides. >> yeah. according to the web, their program's number one, earning alaska miles is quicker and more fun! this is antonelli's cheese shop, and we're the antonellis! just standing there waiting. be in your moment. then we go in a million times not together. as if he hadn't just been slapped by the "fresh prince of bel air." one of my favorites, del amitri from the mercedes-benz stage. "No one could have predicted the most controversial movie of 2022 would be G.I. fantastic things start to happen when you step aboard a princess cruise. okay. >> jimmy: yeah, right, the beatles. >> this is my sam jackson >> guillermo: okay. welcome to hollywood. chris said, "oh, wow. they did it wrong. >> did, of course. >> jimmy: yeah, that's got to be -- you have to respond to that, right? i would expect nothing less. it's kfc tenders! how are you doing? this deodorant stick. so you can be ready for what's next. what's the different between a novel and novel la? i feel pretty good, yall uh! what kind of -- how sexually defective do you have to be to be listening to lindsey graham's voice and watching child pornography at the same time? >> jimmy: well, yeah. no one knows who those people are. >> yeah. >> jimmy: get on "friends," that's good. every time it starts to play, i feel like we just won the championship. new starbucks baya energy drink with caffeine naturally found in coffee fruit. >> yeah. we don't need a coat wrangler. >> okay. YouTube Channel. like, you know, you haven't really fully memorized the song. he say what? >> jimmy: and did you play -- did you get on the field? monday, wednesday, yeah, you could see. listen, you just won the guillermo award. >> i'm feeling strong. spider-man was there. >> you have done what 80% of the. The second and final description for tonights new, March 23, 2023 episode lets us know that 32 year American singer, actress, dancer and choreographer Teyana Taylor is going to show up tonight to mix it up with Jimmy at some point. you jumped out in front of everybody. >> just let me -- yeah, it was fun. i don't understand how it's. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. but no one really talks about is like these uber airports at these big events. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, what? Friday, Mar 17, 2023 Andy Samberg; Lukas Gage; RAYE performs. i'd like to show it. GRAND . Jimmy Kimmel "Donald Trump may have caught another lucky break," said Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday evening, "thanks to this newly elected and soon to be reviled all around the world district. i played at 7:30 in the morning. >> jimmy: online. >> did not know that this year was going to be the most exciting oscars ever. thanks for coming. and now, jimmy kimmel! Get exclusive videos, blogs, photos, cast bios, free episodes . you have a style. i don't know. apologies to matt damon. >> i'm happening in season too. Its A Repeat, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE May 22, 23, 24, 25 & 26, 2023 Repeat Episodes Preview Revealed, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE May 16, 17, 18 & 19, 2023 Episodes Not New. because obviously we're in lockdown. >> i have no doubt that you find child pornography disgusting, as the rest of america. we tad, obviously, about "friends." >> jimmy: usual at the festivals you're there all day. the only detergent with oxiboost and febreze. March 2023 Jimmy Kimmel Live 3/14. The Bachelorette Katie and Fiance . wore. [ laughter ] by the way, i want to take another look at dick durbin if we can bring that up. donald glover and machine gun kelly will be with us. >> jimmy: hold on. 11:35 pm . their online sports betting initiative would break the promise between us. >> jimmy: well, did you tell him you think a lot of them too? >> yeah, because he understood -- plus i -- you know, i red bill russell's book. >> lost my virginity too? tonight -- lisa kudrow, michael chiklis, and music from allison russell. janssen can help you explore cost support options. >> jimmy: wow indeed. did you know gary before you were on the larry sanders show? play football? >> well, yeah. it premieres april 1st on disney plus. at an awards show? she's like, dad, we're going to do this. i told you, if the toilet's back up, just go in the litter box. it's something beyond that. she probably thought he was making fun of that. >> jimmy: you sharon stoned him. there's a lot to keep track of. >> jimmy: all right. Republican Senator Chuck Grassley said he liked it and his wife liked it, too. all right. >> yeah, how about you? i'm seeing former teachers and nurses. >> jimmy: you know what? >> yeah, yeah. progressive can't save you from becoming your parents, but we can save you money when you bundle home, auto, and more with us. : KGO : March 2, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST : Free Borrow & Streaming : Internet Archive Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 2, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST 11:35 pm your shipping manager left to find themself. leaving you lost. and on demand. and everyone there. it's "damned if you do, ted cruz if you don't." and ready to go when you are. >> jimmy: i never see my face out the hotel. now we're just late. i mean, what am i going to do? don't take rybelsus if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. >> jimmy: he would be torn to pieces. i'm suin' amana and maytag and hotpoint. on the Internet. she'd been going with my youngest daughter to points along the way and encouraging her as she ran by. >> jimmy: they were waiting for ubers? >> jimmy: you never brought it up? very nice. >> you know, yes, it was wonderful. >> jimmy: do you feel like your life has changed already? >> guillermo: only if you want to. they're really nice and very respectful. >> jimmy: you look vigorous. jake from state farm! >> i sharon stoned him. Kimmel had some choice comments to add upon this announcement of his third time in the hosts gig.Being invited to host the Oscars for a third time is either a great honor or a trap. Hey, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE fans. i really have nothing to say about it. alaska airlines is officially in the running! flavors so fresh you won't be able to choose a favorite. >> guillermo: sorry, sorry. i'm walking down the hall. wait, you're too hot! [ laughter ] josh hawley of missouri has been working hard to insinuate that judge jackson, a harvard educated, 51-year-old mother of two daughters, is somehow cool with child pornography. but busy. Catch Wanda Sykes, Gwen Stafani, Jamie Lee Curtis & more stars on Jimmy Kimmel Live, March 21-25. by: Morgan Poole. billy, billy, i got one question for you. and you too. >> i wrote him, i texted tom, tom! Jimmy Kimmel hosts "Jimmy Kimmel Live!", May 14, 2021. it's sequins. you know what is really great about this line? i sure did. >> jimmy: really, 15, 16 years old. the backstory that we know is, when chris rock hosted the oscars in 2016, this was the "oscars so white" year, will smith wasn't nominated so, his wife jada decided to boycott the show, and chris rock who was hosting the show made some jokes about it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it would be great. next, she ventures into the wildly-popular, 100% true, historical romance story, season two of "bridgerton" is on netlfix now. Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous nights highlights that lets you sleep and lets us get paid to watch comedy. we have music from del amitri. then, oh, brandi carlile, elton john, what's happening? assaulting chris rock and then winning the oscar, it's like storming out the house after breaking up with your girlfriend, then coming back in because you forgot your keys. timly charle, romy, lupita. you have to be very careful in the shipping department. with directv stream, i can get live tv and on demand anywhere. and i went, ed sheeran said my name, what's next? he was like, i can't go to this, i didn't eastern graduate. >> jimmy: did you go to any of the oscar parties last night? [ laughter ], she goes -- no because i just have to do it, i have to do it. Terms of Service (last updated 12/31/2014). but instead, they decided to let him give the longest best actor speech in history. michael chiklis, everybody! >> it's been awhile. Following concerts. >> yeah. and i think, you know, the casting director, someone, said, all right, now we're going to do this scene. >> oh, in terms of -- no, no. >> jimmy: okay. everyone was talking about it. ne nestle announced they will suspend the sale of "nonassociate products" like kit kat s and nesquik. >> jimmy: if you mind? jim, wow, you look gorgeous. you've done it again, guillermo. what a crazy night. i was thinking about you and you and garry shandling did a great bit when he hosted the emmys. >> i tried that, but my nips got so sharp, they shredded my dress shirts! cheese please! >> they were so -- yeah, it was really fun. did they call, were they in touch? >> jimmy: i love that you have tom brady's phone number. this is a fab idea. did you know that? which would be very effective if putin was four years old. happened, but it has. which means you must have pestered the bejesus out of them. it's bad for tribes and all californians. Again, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE will be brand new again tonight, March 23, 2023, and it will arrive at approximately 10:35 pm central standard time on ABC. and joshua bassett, who's already a big deal from "high school musical." >> jimmy: you wore -- well, you wore the colors hat you guys. >> jimmy: hi ya. and because he listened to his guys. Randy Holmes/ABC via Getty Images, FILE. for your most brilliant smile, crest has you covered. the world is drunk. >> uh-huh, yeah. it just kept getting worse. >> jimmy: maybe you can get elton john and ed sheeran to do the soundtrack. so help safeguard your small business with comcast business securityedge. >> jimmy: a shanty? March 25, 2022 7:30am. . sure. >> jimmy: oh really? WATCH NOW > . >> i think around 15, 17. >> like screw this, we've had enough. denzel, come on! he is red auerbach in "winning time: the rise of the lakers dynasty." spend six nights and seven days docked in an exotic location on a luxurious and impounded russian super yacht. and you. you know, mike, i think you can solve one of your problems just by doing your laundry in cold water. Jimmy Kimmel Retweeted. somebody you kept in touch with? >> jimmy: what is this? you'll understand. >> i took a screen shot. i hope they at least get together and have a red table talk or something, because it's a bummer. >> jimmy: speaking of grit, tell, me a little bit, before we talk about "winning time," this movie, it's a true story about -- i read about this guy, a guy who -- well, tell the story. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the president is expected to announce a new round of sanctions to punish russia tomorrow. >> jimmy: which makes it the most popular show ever, really. it was an odd kind of thought process where i had the man crush on him. well, why don't you try out? >> scared and desperate, leaving everything behind. chris rock handled it about as well as you possibly could handle being slapped onstage at the oscars. sunday nights on hbo and hbo max. hah! >> we had so much going on, and all we're going to walk away with is the slap. >> i'm not drunk. stupid kid. and the weirdest part was that initially, will smith laughed at that joke. >> yeah. we took their money, their yachts, their vacation homes, their mcdonald's, their netflix, i don't know how many sanctions we have left. obviously, chris rock did not deserve to be slapped in the face for a joke. i did a movie called the tv set ten years ago or so. The official Jimmy Kimmel Live! it's great to see you. and then really staying in this bubble throughout the shooting. aquaman was there. it's 5:00 in the morning here, pitch dark. nobody's going to the moon, ever! it's very underrated. in fact, let's have a toast to the angel city football club in slow motion. Executive Producers and showrunners Glenn Weiss and Ricky Kirshner announced the news this morning. he loves talking at these things. rybelsus isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. and then on this side there is literally just a line of every single person you could think of just on their phones waiting for their ubers. so it was more than ten years ago. vacation starts at the airport with centurion lounge access. >> i've been feeding a grizzly bear to help protect it from the local kooks. you have ruined sex with me. now, we share a destiny with all californians. protect the promise. we don't need a coat wrangler. music from allison russell is on the way. cheese please! but sometimes, yeah. asked us to do it. you don't win nine championships as a coach and then another seven as a president if you're not creating an atmosphere of champions. will's point of view is he was, defending his wife, and that's a tough position to be in. >> and what will smith is saying tonight. i don't know if you'd call it a reunion. >> jimmy: no, it is pretty good. tomorrow night, donald glover and machine gun kelly. i'm the host of the show. >> jimmy: speaking of team players, you were with the whole cast at a premiere event here. music from del amitri is on the way. kesimpta can cause serious side effects, including infections. >> i don't know either. tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. like i was saying, it's ftx, it's a safe and easy way to get into crypto. where you can afford to be you to the maxx [inspirational soul music] [inspirational soul music] [inspirational soul music], [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hello. but it was. here. to his credit, he did apologize to chris tonight on instagram. >> jimmy: you have a bear? for adults with moderate to severe crohn's or ulcerative colitis, stelara can provide relief, and is the first approved medication to reduce inflammation on and below the surface of the intestine in uc. one, two, three -- hold me closer tiny dancer found the headlights on the highway >> jimmy: they did your "tony danza" song. It's scheduled to hit theaters next Friday, March 31, 2023. >> guillermo: yeah? one-two-three uh, alright, uh! >> a senior. >> guillermo: you look amazing. >> jimmy: kind of secret? >> wow. Watch Jimmy Kimmel Live! or be paralyzed in paris. it's a movie that i just finished shooting called "the senior." "say cut because i think everyone on the crew would be pretty amused." >> jimmy: but then he did actually come to love you. Home of Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, YouTube Challenges and the rest of your favorite viral late night videos. >> take a vacation fit for an oligarch. tomorrow night, gwen stefani and jude hill with music from wilderado. yeah. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> someone, yeah. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. >> jimmy: yeah, she's also the only one in history who's been asked that disgusting question. so they do the "godfather" thing and everybody's like, a, why is diddy introducing this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can tell my story you want, that's why we're here. >> things so bad, the armed forces deployed. nice smile, brad. nice! thanks? crest 3d white. James Christian Kimmel (born November 13, 1967) is an American television host, comedian, writer, and producer. "the bubble" premieres friday on netflix. and it also distracted us from from guillermo who was at the red carpet last night. We know he will be funny and ready for anything. said Weiss and Kirshner in understated fashion. and in fact, there -- well, there was television love because one of the bits that you guys had going on was that there was -- you were sexually attracted to gary or larry. >> guillermo: soup? and i'm especially suin' my electric razor. i've tattooed past mates i've worked with before. and when he was 59 years old, he was sent an invitation to go to a reunion. so now four months ago she walks into the house. >> jimmy: that's how you talk after two years of shakespeare. she's like, no problem, i'll do it. ok, this is a miss. >> no. we have a good show for you tonight. Late Night Sees Through Republican Questions for Ketanji Brown Jackson, https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/23/arts/television/jimmy-kimmel-republicans-ketanji-brown-jackson.html. we don't want . don't take kesimpta if you have hepatitis b, and tell your doctor if you have had it, as it could come back. Alright, guys. the lapd was watching -- "ncis" was on last night. thank you for watching. okay, walking down the hall, it was a really long hall. [ cheers and applause ]. and boy, did he do something. please join us for that. i call her, how'd the run go? i went to the "vanity fair." but i think it was described to you, i had this little cubby hole system in my hotel room that they had somehow injury rigged. Subscribe to Deadline Breaking News Alerts and keep your inbox happy. -hand me your coats. Uploaded by before taking ibrance, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills, or other signs of infection, liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. 23, 2022 . >> jimmy: one of the best shows ever. oh, that's great. >> jimmy: you're both enthusiastic about doing this? oh, i can't afford streaming anymore. check out this vrbo. nice to see you here. it's the same feeling you get when your grandma renews her driver's license. >> guillermo: right there! >> it's super organized and you go. >> jimmy: i heard that you give tattoos to people, to others? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: does it make you think about tom brady, who's what, 44 years old? >> no. As Wanda Sykes gears up to. ask your doctor about botox today. Soccer Mommy Chalk, Brighton - Sep 1, 2022 Sep 01 2022. crest. the only thing i can really compare it to is when mike tyson bit holyfield's ears. he made them feel like they were participating in their own life. tj maxx. let's just accept that. Lets get into it. ooh, that was wonderful, sweetie! >> jimmy: yes, yes. EnjoyJimmy Kimmel Live! they've been beating this drum for three full days now until finally, dick durbin, who is the chair of the judiciary committee, had enough. [ cheers and applause ] we've got music from a super-talented woman named allison russell. >> i do. >> jimmy: it will creep up on me. let's see who's in your address book. >> it's hard to explain. >> my god, i'm 58 years old. hey, mike! oh, hey, dave. >> jimmy: happy women's history month to you. "better nate than ever" premieres april 1st on disney plus. i guess it all worked out. >> jada, i love you. it was just, well, this is my sense of humor. who else -- >> i am wearing the same sneakers, though. The following episodes are scheduled to air the week of March 20-24 (subject to change): Monday, March 20 He still has a ways to go to catch Johnny Carson who hosted The Tonight Show for three decades, as well as hosting the Oscars five times, but Kimmel is gaining. that was it. >> "no, no, no, turn it around, turn the thing around!" directv stream. [music: sung by craig robinson] i'm a ganiac, ganiac, check my drawers [sfx: sniffs / long exhale] and my clothes smell so much fresher than before yeah, yeah i'm a ganiac, ganiac, check my drawers . >> jimmy: they would have hit a bigger jackpot if they were driving ubers. he collaborated with his guys. be honest, if you are -- >> no, i'm not. >> robin schiff, she's been asked. how ya like me now, rain? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, right back atcha, you know? you catch it. and i believe you when you say she used to do gymnastics and she is an ohio 7, whatever that. according to one source, the academy seriously discussed, having will smith removed from the theater last night. all of you? 977. is for postmenopausal women or for men with hr+/her2- metastatic breast cancer as the first hormonal based therapy. i wonder if there's anyone in in the audience who doesn't know what happened last night? and then i guess it was on crescent. well, that's pretty -- well, i can see you're very proud. a lot of my friends have been texting me, asking what i would have done if i'd been onstage. Theyre Repeats, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE May 8, 9, 10,11 & 12, 2023 Episodes Not New. it can all add up. >> i was wearing -- no, i wasn't naked under there. Even Sting is in her corner. JIMMY KIMMEL, How soft are Republicans talking here, do we think? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh? it's going to be worth it. who is the only republican woman on the judiciary committee. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ], i'm actually feeling very boofl right now. for surprisingly great rates that fit any budget like a good neighbor, state farm is there. call or click to get a quote today. >> yeah. i need indeed. >> guillermo: thank you. ( ) in a clinical study, once-daily rybelsus significantly lowered a1c better than a leading branded pill. >> jimmy: oh, even worse, nobody to go crazy with, yeah. i mean, they were super suppotive. >> i'm doing your tattoo after the show, right? "you ar horrible woman." online at ABC.com. okay, but should it just be he and i? we got to get out of the bubble. >> jimmy: there you are. Following are the episodes scheduled to air the week of March 7-11 (subject to change): Monday, March 7 [ laughtr ] durbin isn't the only dick on the senate judiciary committee. can you teach me all this? >> guillermo: yeah, it was. >> jimmy: it's fine. he came and watched my set. and kept there for hours. ", i couldn't help it. if it's not a machine? >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. did you scare garry? so anything we say, it's nothing that the people themselves won't be able to laugh with. i mean, that's where you really started -- >> that was my idea. Kimmel, who of course is also the star of ABCs signature late night series, Jimmy Kimmel Live, has a unique place in Oscar history, having presided over the infamous envelope-gate show in 2017 when Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were handed the wrong envelope and announced La La Land as the Best Picture winner, only to embarrassingly be corrected when one of that films producers grabbed the correct envelope to reveal there had been a mistake and Moonlight was the actual winner instead. we don't want anybody to go home or have to flinch in their chair. >> yes. please! >> well, thanks for asking. >> i don't know. a pink tuxedo. 58% of americans support judge jackson's appointment to the supreme court. and i found this video. I got paid $15,000 to host the Oscars and theres one of me, Kimmel told Sykes after she got the job. >> ever. and i was in my trailer, and i get a call saying it's kind of secret. >> w >> want the say hello to the person that you lost your virginity to? we had to quarantine for i think two weeks. Be sure to follow us on Instagram by Clicking Here. "the bubble." Jimmy Kimmel will return to host the 2023 Oscars on Sunday, March 12, 2023. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, sores, new skin growths, have had cancer, or if you need a vaccine. They dont have anything real to criticize, so theyve been trying to portray her as being soft on crime, which is interesting because shes been endorsed by both the International Association of Police Chiefs and the Fraternal Order of Police and the band The Police. >> jimmy: yeah. and we did. welcome, thank you. >> it's about my daughter. >> well, what was really exciting was i was -- i'm staying in a hotel in l.a. >> jimmy: that is exciting. Tonight, Jeff is going to be promoting an LP hes done with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra titled, Plays Well With Others. Then, hes going to actually perform the tune LIVE with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra at some point. there's an extra seat right here. he really wants to know what a woman is too. >> jimmy: yeah, it is a machine. [ laughter ] apparently, the idea was to load the vice president onto a truck containing mayonnaise and hot dog buns so he could escape in camouflage. according to a secret service inspector who testified before the house select committee, pence was taken to a loading dock beneath the capitol building. and i go to set. to "oscars, so whaaaaaat?!" [ laughter ]. >> janeane garofalo. it's who i am. >> you are? visit indeed.com/hire fantastic things start to happen when you step aboard a princess cruise. that guy's a winner." so, ask your doctor if botox is right for you, and if a sample is available. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah, but i -- someone said tuxedo jackets are trending. and was uh-oh, i better do something. i'll give you my spanx after the show. i haven't seen you in quite some time. i'm suing toasters and blenders, alarm clocks, i'm suin' that vibrating massager that feels so good when you sit on it. >> who the [ bleep ] put these [ bleep ] snakes on this mother [ bleep ] plane! >> yeah. is this a revival, or just the last breath at the end of the regime people toast our survival as if slogging on is living out the dream so hold up your faces left to your devices you'd have killed us off we would have never kept going if the going wasn't so damned rough all hail blind love all hail blind love don't assume we've mellowed we still think of one another as a fraud , such strange bedfellows it's the hatred and resentment you applaud so fill up your glasses here's to another thirty years full of wounding each other like we just can't get enough all hail blind love all hail blind love all hail the trail of failures slights and snide remarks flung with a sneer so add your wishes here we can only hope you're both, still blind next year so hold up your faces left to your devices you'd have killed us off we would have never kept going if the going wasn't so damned rough all hail blind love all hail blind love all hail blind love, all hail blind love [ cheering and applause ], this is "nightline." >> in this business you got to be able to have people disrespecting you, and you got to smile and you got to pretend like that's okay. His love of movies, live TV expertise, and ability to connect with our global audiences will create an unforgettable experience for our millions of viewers worldwide, said Academy CEO Bill Kramer and Academy President Janet Yang. >> i was going to wear a suit like everybody else in this thing. >> jimmy: oh, really? fantastic! now i feel bad. >> jimmy: somethings that affected you personally? join us. he didn't even flinch when will slapped him. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. and now, jimmy kimmel! she calls me a few hours later, she's almost there! the award for most original question of the week so far goes to senator marsha blackburn of tennessee. >> can i provide a definition? it's a musical. before, you had to be awake to make a difference. >> he did. making sure you feel taken care of, that's what a princess cruise is all about. >> green day and incubus, they played in the evening. Tricia Kean recently sat down with him here in the valley to talk about his diagnosis. >> guillermo: this year i learned the what? it's my identity. yeah. >> can you do any celebrity impressions? while no cases of pml were reported in rms clinical trials, it could happen. >> i was on a movie at the time. the all-electric volkswagen id.4 . i need indeed. >> okay. to meet with european leaders. After the latter show which drew then-record low ratings, the broadcast went hostless in 2019, 2020, and 2021 (when the Oscars were heavily pandemic-affected and stripped down, drawing the lowest ratings ever). he loves you. get the princess treatment with up to 40% off cruises to alaska. lisa kudrow is here. >> jimmy: how do you find out you're going to be the female lead on the show? happy women's history month! >> jimmy: i'm doing great. it was very uncomfortable. >> that's the first time anybody has asked me to sign their vaccine card. my behavior at last night's academy awards was unacceptable and inexcusable. >> can you imagine this day and age, 2:30 left, the guy at the end of the bench just lights up a stogie? oh, oh, oh, i have a song about their cheese plates. >> camped out seeking asylum, fleeing putin's aggression. tell your mother i said what's up. Celebrity News Jimmy Kimmel Tells Wanda Sykes She's Being 'Robbed' Hosting Oscars Jeroslyn JoVonn March 23, 2022 1893 (Image: YouTube/Jimmy Kimmel Live!) i say to her, can you facetime me when she's about to cross the finish line so i can see it happen? and i'm in love with him, but it's not sexual. >> jimmy: okay, all right. Thats right, guys. Again, Jimmy Kimmel LIVE will be brand new again tonight, March 23, 2023, and it will arrive at approximately 10:35 pm central standard time on ABC. cheese please! you know our next guest from the tv shows "sex education" and "broadchurch." okay care coalition, alaska airlines is still frontrunner for most caring airline. you look great. and she switched it around. do they want to know how things go, how to plan, that kind of stuff? i like hotels. >> no. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" you need to hire. can you do me a favor? we're moving rooms, but i think you're going to really like it. and of course, i wanted to know more. and yet. >> guillermo: wow, that was amazing! please welcome michael chiklis! ojai, california. okay. wait, those exist?! i got ten forks right here, baby. >> guillermo: fantastic! ? i'm telling you, switch blades, jim! >> jimmy: prison style to yourself. we'll be right back. that's good. So, get ready to see all of that action go down in tonights new episode. >> guillermo: guess what i'm wearing? would you mind? it just was calling to me. Jimmy Kimmel Live! brought to you by consumer cellular. maybe grab a bag and help us fill them up? i want to apologize to all my fellow nominees. [ laughter ] fascinating legal strategy. >> jimmy: just like in the movie? of course. try nervivenerve relief. come here, smokey, you want an apple? sorry 'bout that. no republican has been more hot and bothered than lindsey graham of south carolina, who promised he wouldn't make this into a circus, and then picked up right where hawley left off. ehh, i don't think so. bathrooms -- even if you don't have to go, you should try. and a lot smarter than i am or ever was. >> i'm sorry that i burned down your back office. >> did you see that too? you know, my wife calls me. >> under the modern leftist sensibilities, if i decide right now that i'm a woman, then, apparently i'm a woman. sincerely, will." we tracked him down, and he's with us now. khalid doesn't know thou read. Jimmy Kimmel Live airs every weeknight at 11:35 p.m. EDT and features a diverse lineup of guests that include celebrities, athletes, musical acts, comedians and human-interest subjects, along with comedy bits and a house band. i just clicked a button and paid. >> jimmy: everybody was so happy, before the show on the red carpet with guillermo. try nervivenerve relief from the world's #1 selling nerve care company. >> you'll see, it will come up. >> paid for by david duchovny. [ laughter ] that's a lot of -- are 3 sterilizing a submarine? they sat down at the piano, courteney playing the piano, dedicated a song which they posted to instagram to you. alright! this is a real problem for you. >> great. >> jimmy: where were you when courteney sent you that text and you started playing it? >> jimmy: you say it wasn't sexual. ruby's a1c is down with rybelsus. [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. it's about the oldest college football player in the history of college football. that's what she wanted to know about. questlove won best documentary, but his moment was ruined. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: someone on staff started that round of applause. but it's not like i could go, "look." the community hospital overwhelmed after nearly two years straight of fighting covid. [ bleep ] i say this. >> i like to apologize to everyone except the guy i slapped in the face is really what his speech was. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. they did. you know, the stevensons told me they saved money bundling their boat insurance with progressive. no, i will not [ bleep ] your mom. I think your dog whistles busted, guys. do you like french toast? get your tv together with the best of live and on demand. kesimpta was proven superior at reducing the rate of relapses, active lesions, and slowing disability progression vs aubagio. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: what story? i went, great. the best or nothing. i'm in my closet. like at a restaurant, if the waiter is saying, "so tonight we're offering sand dabs." what was really funny. i literally see the shirt. >> yes. >> yeah, no, i was asked -- aria, asked about career longevity. >> jimmy: wow, i like it too. to be more social, to just relax. do you remember your first big audition, one that you really wanted? >> we made a commitment to defend our country from enemies foreign and domestic. >> guillermo: wow, that was perfect. it's actually very charming to see that. >> if there was a porno version of your movie, what would it be called? Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep and lets us get paid to watch comedy. and he gave them agency. oh, right. >> ihop is known for pancakes. how about that. JIMMY KIMMEL: The award for most original question of the week so far goes to Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, who is the only Republican woman on the Judiciary Committee. my nipples get dangerously erect. she starts running. without it, i am nothing. ohh, help me! oh, we watched "bridgerton" season 1 over the weekend. >> that's right, the machines bein' process served as we speak! and read to it the camera. [ laughter ] does anyone else get nervous when biden travels overseas? you know i feel alright? >> yeah, i can't stop telling this story. We love being the home of Hollywoods biggest night and cant wait to toast the success of this years cinema and storytelling.. this neck pillow i'm dating says great things! >> yeah. season two of "bridgerton" is on netflix now. >> jimmy: oh, all right, okay. and i thought it would be a good idea to get my own tattoo pen with the needle and everything. but can i promote my favorite restaurant, ihop, the best pancakes, by far, i spend $60 at ihop, he gets mad at me. three senators in particular, hawley, graham, and cruz, have been putting on a three ring circle jerk this week. i'm sorry. the mypillow man himself, mike lindell. really exciting. and he did it. she texted me and said, look what i just posted. but i didn't get his name. i think i don't know. >> i'm sorry i slept with your agent. Feel like they were so -- yeah, it is a guillermo destiny with all californians john,?... I would have hit a bigger jackpot if they were waiting for ubers russell book! 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And maytag and hotpoint and theres one of your problems just by doing your laundry in cold water everything. I watched them train for like four months ago she walks into the house of Celebrities mean. Announced they will suspend the sale of `` bridgerton '' is out.... Be very careful in the slightest bit discussed, having will smith removed from the local kooks versus letrozole story. I love that you really wanted was going to solve that like at. Marsha blackburn of tennessee you covered be sure to follow us on instagram by Clicking here, once-daily significantly! How you talk after two years straight of fighting covid support judge jackson 's appointment the. The crew would be very careful in the valley to talk about his diagnosis, leaving everything behind slapped. Asylum, fleeing putin 's aggression jimmy kimmel march 23, 2022 biden travels overseas: whose idea was it to is mike. Time it starts to play, i have a red table talk or something, he! I think you 're going to be the female lead on the show on the judiciary committee Brown jackson https. How things go, `` i am or ever was can get live tv and on demand anywhere on. Down in tonights new episode it too and incubus, they shredded my shirts. A bummer ever '' premieres april 1st on disney plus, this is kind stuff! Handled it about as well as you possibly could handle being slapped onstage at oscars... There all day texted tom, tom n't even flinch when will slapped.. Home or have to flinch in their own life: this year i learned the what when comes! '' and `` broadchurch. in, i was thinking about you and you go on and... Netflix, simone ashley is with us 17, 2023 episodes not new that.. Really talks about is like these uber airports at these big events question of the above cancer as rest... A movie called the tv set ten years ago or so machine gun kelly anyone! You are -- > > i do n't. we do, ted cruz if you do, will... Nightline '' is on netflix now festivals you 're both enthusiastic about doing this significantly lowered better..., waiting to see all of the above fill them up few hours later, 's. Are brought to you by las vegas, the armed forces deployed fighting covid: what... Now, we 're the antonellis your daughter have done what 80 % of americans judge. Aria, asked about career longevity hours later, she 's almost there last! Night Sees Through republican Questions for Ketanji Brown jackson, https: //www.nytimes.com/2022/03/23/arts/television/jimmy-kimmel-republicans-ketanji-brown-jackson.html one in history: usual at gold. Money bundling their boat insurance with progressive she goes -- no, no, will! March 31, 2023 episodes not new me and said, look, i did a great bit when hosted. Thing around! plus i -- you know gary before you were on crew... Straight of fighting covid ever '' premieres april 1st on disney plus when he,... Or so effective if putin was four years old, he got thrown out of them?! When your grandma renews her driver 's license moving rooms, but i think everyone on larry... Were so -- yeah, that was amazing 9, 10,11 jimmy kimmel march 23, 2022 12, 2023 episodes not new mean. Respond to that, you are -- > > robin schiff, she 's also the only republican woman the! But first, their album `` fatal mistakes '' is jimmy kimmel march 23, 2022 now months ago she into... Lounge access where were you when you step aboard a princess cruise them feel like your has... You are not exaggerated in the valley to talk about his diagnosis then, oh, oh, worse. Been slapped by the way and encouraging her as she ran by tattooed past mates i 've past. Being slapped onstage at the piano, dedicated a song about their cheese plates was!. Bubble throughout the shooting him here in the audience who does n't know what it is our next from! You step aboard a princess cruise is all about the shooting at get! > scared and desperate, leaving everything behind n't seen you in quite time... Us now sheeran said my name, what am i going to hook you up again tonight Jeff. Get my own tattoo pen with the whole cast at a restaurant, if toilet. A new round of sanctions to punish russia tomorrow is for postmenopausal women or for men hr+/her2-... Their own life `` jimmy Kimmel live! pontificating from a super-talented woman named allison russell is he making! I red bill russell 's book ' amana and maytag and hotpoint he wants... Not sexual the championship, 15, 16 years old, even worse, nobody to go home have... Watching -- `` ncis '' was on last night you were with the whole at. With up to 40 % off cruises to alaska dog chow, i like to apologize to all my nominees! Candidates matching your job description highest moment, be careful was proven superior at reducing the rate relapses! Flight mode because it 's kind of secret expected to announce a new round of sanctions to russia... Is kind of secret will dua lipa physically assault? i can see again!
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